I recently listed to a TED talk about people's pursuit of happiness. It when on to say, chasing happiness and only happiness actually makes people unhappy. WTF? My thought's exactly. But I continued to listen to the video as I was intrigued. Apparently, studies showed that people experienced emptiness when they were only chasing happiness, but not because they had a lack of happiness but because they had a lack of meaning. MIND BLOWN right?
She continues to talk about the 4 pillars to having meaning in your life. This got me thinking about my life... Do I have the 4 pillars in my life? What in my life fit within the 4 pillars she discovered through her studies... For your reference these bad boys are:
1. Belonging (valued for who you are and value others);
2. Purpose (less about what you want, but more about what you give);
3. Transcendence (being in the zone/losing a sense of time or place); and
4. Storytelling (the story you tell about yourself to yourself - how you became you).
And there it was, clear as day... when I sat down and asked myself questions based around each pillar, the answers were effortless. At the end of the activity, I felt happy and satisfied. To be honest, by the end of the TED Talk, and the little pillars activity I was relieved to know and feel that there is more to life than happiness. That you can enjoy all emotions, you don't have to be happy all the time, but can enjoy happiness as it comes in the moments you experience it. It was a relief to know, that having meaning in your life leads to a more fulfilled life and in turn, a happier life.
I was also chuffed to discover that I currently have belonging, with some very close friends and my family - that love me unconditionally for who I am and nurture who I am. Just as I love them for who they are and nurture who they are. That I have purpose which is to help people and to guide my children into strong, independent young woman. That I experience Transcendence when I work out with my fiancee. And that over the years, I have told my story, for every truth that it has, that I am grateful for my experiences that have turned me into who I am today - inclusive of some pretty horrible memories, but those memories gave me my resilience, my compassion and my understanding.
I don't think there could be anything more I could be grateful for today, then having that article shared with me (link below), for taking the time to ask myself some questions around the pillars, for recognising what are my pillars and for acknowledging how fulfilled and meaningful my life really is.
https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_esfahani_smith_there_s_more_to_life_than_being_happy
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