Collecting moments, not things!

Today, I am grateful for change, my morals and lifestyle. You see, I used to be a very materialistic person. It was all about, how much my clothes cost, my ridiculously expensive handbag collection, my shoe collection (hey I am half Filipino, it's in my genes to have a large shoe collection), the car I drove, the phone I had. We seriously could go on forever about how shallow I was about materialistic things.

I always dreamed of being a lawyer - hey 33 years in the making, considering I am actually studying law now. I also always dreamed of having a sports cars, a big mansion, with a bedroom just for my shoes.

Boy oh boy, times have changed. You see, many years ago,  when things went south with that ex-hubby of mine, I had nothing. I moved into my brother's house... Ok, more like his garage, just with our clothes. I had to buy new beds for us with the limited money I had, but after that I had nothing. I saved up, brought everything second hand and managed to get my fridge my dad brought me and a buffet unit back from my ex-husband...

That was it, just the girls, our second-hand furniture, no money and determination pushing me through. I was adamant that I was going to show my girls, that no matter what, you can achieve anything you put your mind to. I worked full-time, I committed my spare time 100% to my girls, I paid my bills and then started studying law part-time. I would never study while they were awake, I would always wait till they went to bed and the stayed up for hours studying... I still do this...I seriously will be 100 by the time I finish my law degree.

I made a name for myself in the Property industry and bam, here I am in an amazing job, doing what I love earning the 'coin'. However, I don't spend the money like I originally thought I always wanted to. I have an ordinary house - even though I could have bigger.  I have an ordinary car - even though I could have better. I have ordinary clothes - even though I could have high end. I have ordinary furniture - even though I could have designer. My shift has changed...

Instead of having all those fancy things I always "desired", I have amazing memories and more memories to come. As a result of this outlook for the last few years, the little loves feel the same. They don't want the extravagant, why should you - they say, you can't bring it with you when you die. But what you can do, is live a life full of opportunity, full of memories, full of experiences, full of laughter, full of adventure, full of love - now that is a life worth living.

That my friends - is my life and we all love it!

Wake, be awesome, sleep, repeat!

Today - Wednesday, I am grateful for our routine.

Today was the first day, after being away, where Zac and I, after we tucked the girls in bed got to spend some proper time together.

Back to our routine... Dinner with the kids, chats, board games and chilling watching a show together, and then kids go to bed. Then it's our time, and we both get our gym gear on and head into our home gym. I remember a time where I used to hate working out in front of him. I would get all embarrassed. Now, I hate going into the gym without him.

I love that after our work out when we are cooling down, I'll do my uni - he will play PS4 (I am really not a fan of the PS4, I could almost run over it sometimes). He does it so I am not distracted, because I actually hate the PS4. But, he knows that I will focus on my Uni, if he is on it because I hate the PS4 and won't talk to him when he is playing it. Win, win situation...I guess... Did I tell you I hate the PS4, just wasn't sure if you picked up on that vibe...

I love how we prioritise our time. You could be anywhere, doing anything, working hard day in and day out. It's all about how you prioritise your time. Zac and I have our routine down to a T. And, so do the girls - in saying that, our world does not end if a spanner is thrown into the works or if we have a brake. We all just go with the flow, find our feet and then end up back in a schedule that works for all of us.

Safe to say, everyone was happy to go back to normal.

Crazy little thing called Love!

To continue painting the picture of my story, today I am grateful for getting a second chance at this crazy little thing called love.

I remember when my ex and I broke up, I was so sure that I would remain single. Being single these days is a nightmare... You can't just go to the pub, get drunk, and have a convo. You gotta be on 20 different dating apps, be pretty good at photoshopping, talk online for ages and be willing to risk after all that texting before you meet, then when you finally meet you'll just be the next chick this guy is gonna "pork" until the next time he swipes right.  On top of that, I convinced myself - who on earth would want to date a single mum of two kids...

Well, there was one guy out there crazy and stupid enough to give it a good crack... It's one thing to be on a journey of self-discovery, especially when you are fighting your way through your bullshit emotions thinking you have failed...because you failed your marriage. It's another when you start believing in yourself, truly believing in yourself and then poof, this person is there in your life backing you, supporting you, encouraging you... believing in you.

So this crazy, stupid guy did exactly that. I was hesitant, I stalled, I pushed back, but I could never let him go... imagining him not around - just didn't feel right. I was such an asshole, I would only see him once a week and he wasn't allowed to come to my place any earlier than 7pm (on that one day), as the girl's bedtime was 7.30pm. It was just enough time for them to get to know him bit by bit. I wasn't about to be someone who had different men in and out of my life in front of my kids... It took months before I trusted him enough to even meet my girls... Let alone hang out with him all the time...

As all my pieces slowly started to come back together, he waited, he stayed... He didn't push back, he didn't hesitate and he didn't stall. He patiently rode the wave of my utter bullshit, because I was terrified of getting it wrong again... He made me feel beautiful, special, smart... to the point that I actually believed it, I believed deep within myself I was all those things... Holy Shit!! Is this what a real relationship is actually supposed to be like!

Don't get me wrong, he drives me absolutely batshit crazy! And not everything is roses, and that goes for everyone... No relationship is 100% perfect... and if you think yours is 100% perfect all... the... time...girlfriend you are in for a rude shock cause your battle is coming, or you are just totally in a space of denial.

I have seen him at his worst, he has seen me at mine... Believe me, sometimes I wonder how the fuck we are actually still together... But it was through those times where we oddly communicated more, we backed each other and were always there for each other. We don't fight often at all, but we debate all the time... And when we do fight, it's like in the movie 300 - when the vastly outnumbered Spartans attempt to hold off the invading Persian Army... But never, do we ever go to bed angry with each other or still fighting... Every battle ends in peace, is over and never to be had again!

Today, I am so grateful for such an amazing partner, amazing step Dad and literally my best friend!