Share your story!

Tonight I am going to take you on a ride down Serious Lane. Today I am grateful for being open.

We all have a story to tell. You know the story of your past, the experiences you have endured that ultimately make you who you are today. No matter what your story is - one that is all sorts of fucked up, or one that is protected, innocent and safe - how we end up to where we are today is a direct result of choices we have made to define our story, tell our story and how we choose to continue to grow our story.

I, unfortunately, have not had the greatest story, I have experienced many things, most of you have not. I have experienced things, that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy... I would not wish upon anyone.

However, I can't change what has happened, but I can change how I tell my story, how I feel about my story and what I wish to do with it. As much as I wish I could take it away, that will not change the fact, that it is what it is. So instead, I am grateful for the lessons it taught me and the strengths that it provided me. Even when, I could have taken a path that we see so many take - which results in a form of addiction.

Now, I don't share this story with many people, however, tonight I did share it with someone special. I am grateful for who I opened up to, who I shared it with, and in that moment, how comfortable I was sharing.

Sometimes, it's important to share the struggle along with the good, so those that love you, can love you completely and understand you. I am so grateful, that my circle of people I can trust with my story is growing. Because everyone should be able to be open and tell their story...

Meaning, rather than Happiness!

Today I am grateful for having meaning in my life.

I recently listed to a TED talk about people's pursuit of happiness. It when on to say, chasing happiness and only happiness actually makes people unhappy. WTF? My thought's exactly. But I continued to listen to the video as I was intrigued. Apparently, studies showed that people experienced emptiness when they were only chasing happiness, but not because they had a lack of happiness but because they had a lack of meaning. MIND BLOWN right?

She continues to talk about the 4 pillars to having meaning in your life. This got me thinking about my life... Do I have the 4 pillars in my life? What in my life fit within the 4 pillars she discovered through her studies...  For your reference these bad boys are:

1. Belonging (valued for who you are and value others);
2. Purpose (less about what you want, but more about what you give);
3. Transcendence (being in the zone/losing a sense of time or place); and
4. Storytelling (the story you tell about yourself to yourself - how you became you).

And there it was, clear as day... when I sat down and asked myself questions based around each pillar, the answers were effortless. At the end of the activity, I felt happy and satisfied. To be honest, by the end of the TED Talk, and the little pillars activity I was relieved to know and feel that there is more to life than happiness. That you can enjoy all emotions, you don't have to be happy all the time, but can enjoy happiness as it comes in the moments you experience it. It was a relief to know, that having meaning in your life leads to a more fulfilled life and in turn, a happier life.

I was also chuffed to discover that I currently have belonging, with some very close friends and my family - that love me unconditionally for who I am and nurture who I am. Just as I love them for who they are and nurture who they are. That I have purpose which is to help people and to guide my children into strong, independent young woman. That I experience Transcendence when I work out with my fiancee. And that over the years, I have told my story, for every truth that it has, that I am grateful for my experiences that have turned me into who I am today - inclusive of some pretty horrible memories, but those memories gave me my resilience, my compassion and my understanding.

I don't think there could be anything more I could be grateful for today, then having that article shared with me (link below), for taking the time to ask myself some questions around the pillars, for recognising what are my pillars and for acknowledging how fulfilled and meaningful my life really is.

https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_esfahani_smith_there_s_more_to_life_than_being_happy

Decide, Commit, Focus, Succeed!

Today - being Saturday, I am grateful for focus.

Our littlest love has always been a go with the flow, happy go lucky, whatever goes, whatever whatever, I just wanna have fun, no commitment kind of kid. This is ridiculously refreshing, as our eldest love is a super organised, super committed, everything has to be perfect, slightly OCD kind of kid. I can not WAIT for the upcoming teenage years 'insert sarcasm'. It will be like a hormonal war zone, constant world war from every fucking angle imaginably possible. I pray every night that I have apologised to my mother enough to prevent the Karma of my wild, emotional and defiant teenage years biting me hard on the ass...

Anyway, we'll get back to the focus gratitude shall we? So the most uncommitted little lady I have ever met made a commitment at the start of the year. As soon as she saw the big cheerleading girls doing a full out for their trip to America to compete, she wanted to be like them. To be like Sissy... She wanted it so bad, she begged us to change from the recreational classes to the competition classes straight away.

So, given we have done this for her in the past for other things - we instantly became tight asses... With other stuff that she has pleaded with those lush big blue eyes, long lashes and the cutest little face and voice that could melt the devil's heart - to which we clearly gave in to her. When it got too tough for her, or she had to do too much - she would come home and say: it's not for me, I just wanna have fun and then proceeds to sing 'girls just wanna have fun, oh girls just wanna have fun'. We set her with a task. She had to complete one full year of attending every single fun class lesson, she had to wear the cheer school training uniform, cheer shoes and bow to every single less, she had to train with sissy in the garage to practice what she learnt every week.

I have never seen this kid so determined and so focused. She hates anything healthy and ate all of her salad... Admittedly there were a lot of tears, a lot of I don't want to, a lot of lettuce tastes horrible, a lot of I'll eat everything else but the lettuce leaves and see if anyone would really notice. But in the end, through her snot bubble tears, she ate it. Then was proud of herself and then danced around saying she was gonna be a big cheerleader in now time. I won't repeat the above, but the same thing happened, but not as often about practising... You clearly get the picture here, don't you?

Today, we finally got the pleasure of seeing her do her fun class full-out... Proud is an understatement. She remained focused, didn't fluff around (she does this a lot, especially in swimming lessons - when the teacher isn't looking, she is pretending to be a beautiful mermaid). Her skills have improved so much, her attitude has improved as well - all thanks to her maintaining her focus on what she wanted - Competitive Cheer!

Safe to say, the littlest love can dust off her fun cheer class boots, and put on her big girl boots. Cause our tight asses have disappeared and the pockets are deep again... She will be doing competitive cheer next year... Yep, another proud parent bragging post...

Get Busy Living!

Well well well... What a whirlwind the last fortnight has been...

I know what you thinking... Where in the bloody hell have you been mate? Well, I have been here there and everywhere. Literally!

So naturally today, I am grateful for being busy... I love being busy at home and at work. Keeps me on my toes, keeps me achieving and keeps me determined - amongst other things.

In the last two weeks, I have inspected so many sites, from in and around Brisbane, then doing a trip up North Queensland involving several flights, one of which I nearly missed...and, over 1,5000kms of North Queensland Country driving in 3 days... From Emerald to Winton back to Emerald and everything in between, including a little town called Sapphire. I even got to see an old Caravan Park, that my family and I stayed in, in Emerald for a month when my Farther first moved our family to Queensland after our stint in Papua New Guinea. The swimming pool I remember swimming in across the road from the Caravan Park has definitely had a facelift in comparison to my time. Was amazing to see some things surviving time. Especially after visiting old railway towns that didn't make it against its battle with time.

I have been to beaches and chilled out on a luxury 42-foot boat... I have jumped on a trampoline with my kids until I couldn't breathe and move, cuddled, chilled out and watched movies. I have skyped called my little loves ever night when I was away. And, most importantly, given the Christmas spirit, we decorated the shit out of the house and of course, put up the Christmas Tree. Clearly, we decked it out with so many lights so the fat man in the red suit couldn't miss where to put the Chrissy presents even if he tried.

I am pretty sure by the time the next fortnight is over, with Uni Exams, another trip to Emerald and Mackay, my Christmas holidays will be here in no time - you bloody beauty! We have so much excitement in store for our little loves and I simply CANNOT wait for them to see all the goodies we have brought them.

Live your life - full out!

What an amazing Saturday it has been.

And with that, today I am grateful for being a Cheer Mum... Yep, if you know me well, you would know that hair and makeup is not my forte. Therefore, I would epically fail at being a Dance or Cheer Mum... But hey, I have set myself a goal, and totally smashed it... I am seriously thinking of quitting property and law and getting into the hair and makeup biz... Alright, I confess, I still suck at putting makeup on myself.

Miss Mia had her second cheer competition for the year! And, her and her team has placed second in their division! PROUD! Both little loves have been committed to their love for Cheerleading, with Havanah attending every single recreational cheer class so she can do competitive cheer like her big sissy next year. And then there is Mia, she has been that obsessive kind of dedicated... Between Zac and I, we have trained almost every night in our gym with her. She sets herself countless goals and we get in there with her, work out with her and help her achieve them. She does smash them by the way...totally gets that from me.

I remember when she came home from Cheer the other week buzzing with excitement about their new routine for the comp. 'Mum we did the full out for our new routine and smashed it' this was obviously said in a high pitched overexcited little ladies voice. Oh and a full out for the non-cheer knowledgeable people reading this is the first time they perform their routine from start to finish in front of the other kids at their cheerleading school. I am totally getting the hang of this Cheer Mum shit! Even learning all the terminology - you wanna know just come see me... Ok, maybe wait till next year to ask me any questions.

Right, back to the point... So all her hard work over the last 12 months has paid off... Babycakes did so well.  I, of course, screamed out 'Go Mia' when it was all quiet before they were about to start... I am pretty sure she was really grateful she couldn't see me at the top of the grandstand waving my arms around like crazy cheering her on.

Proud is an understatement, and I am looking forward to the commitment and dedication next year... At the rate I am going with all this cheer training with the girls, I will be a pro! Thanks, Mia! Could I still be a pro, if I couldn't cheer accurately to save my life... Let's just go with a yes for now.

Collecting moments, not things!

Today, I am grateful for change, my morals and lifestyle. You see, I used to be a very materialistic person. It was all about, how much my clothes cost, my ridiculously expensive handbag collection, my shoe collection (hey I am half Filipino, it's in my genes to have a large shoe collection), the car I drove, the phone I had. We seriously could go on forever about how shallow I was about materialistic things.

I always dreamed of being a lawyer - hey 33 years in the making, considering I am actually studying law now. I also always dreamed of having a sports cars, a big mansion, with a bedroom just for my shoes.

Boy oh boy, times have changed. You see, many years ago,  when things went south with that ex-hubby of mine, I had nothing. I moved into my brother's house... Ok, more like his garage, just with our clothes. I had to buy new beds for us with the limited money I had, but after that I had nothing. I saved up, brought everything second hand and managed to get my fridge my dad brought me and a buffet unit back from my ex-husband...

That was it, just the girls, our second-hand furniture, no money and determination pushing me through. I was adamant that I was going to show my girls, that no matter what, you can achieve anything you put your mind to. I worked full-time, I committed my spare time 100% to my girls, I paid my bills and then started studying law part-time. I would never study while they were awake, I would always wait till they went to bed and the stayed up for hours studying... I still do this...I seriously will be 100 by the time I finish my law degree.

I made a name for myself in the Property industry and bam, here I am in an amazing job, doing what I love earning the 'coin'. However, I don't spend the money like I originally thought I always wanted to. I have an ordinary house - even though I could have bigger.  I have an ordinary car - even though I could have better. I have ordinary clothes - even though I could have high end. I have ordinary furniture - even though I could have designer. My shift has changed...

Instead of having all those fancy things I always "desired", I have amazing memories and more memories to come. As a result of this outlook for the last few years, the little loves feel the same. They don't want the extravagant, why should you - they say, you can't bring it with you when you die. But what you can do, is live a life full of opportunity, full of memories, full of experiences, full of laughter, full of adventure, full of love - now that is a life worth living.

That my friends - is my life and we all love it!

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas!

Today has no doubtable been an absolutely full on day. It's always good, well I love it - the busier you are the quicker time flies. 

So between work and my health today flew before my eyes... and then, let the excitement begin!

SCHOOL CHRISTMAS CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!! (screamed in two adorable little ladies voices).

Yep, it is Christmas time here at the girl's school! Boy, was it the absolute best! I remember a time where we never were able to make these things... Now, all that hard work over the years has paid off and I don't miss a thing!

The Christmas decorations and outfits were out in full force, with the old and the young all giving it a good bash... Nothing could beat the smile on all the little faces... All 300 hundred odd. I am pretty sure as soon as we arrived, they ran off to their friends, compared outfits, run around, threw in a couple of cartwheels and then enjoyed some tasty food from the food trucks on site. 

The stage looked awesome, and so did the gorgeous little Preppy's that got on the stage, all nervous but full of excitement belting out Silent Night at the top of their lungs. 

Then the MC announces that it's the grades 1's turn to show the parents and teachers their best Christmas singing voices. Immediately Havanah got up, jumping up and down, waving her arms around like crazy to ensure without a doubt we could see her. The excitement and joy on her face this year was so much better than last year... Pretty sure it is because she wasn't as nervous since she has done it once before. 

A few more grades go by, and then MC announces grade 3's... Oh, the smile on that kids face, the fun she had, the joy it made Zac, myself and their Au Pair Evie feel. A little more conservative, she didn't jump up and down like a monkey... She just smiled, waved, smiled again, giggled with her friends when Zac and I waved back like the dorky proud parents we are and then belted out her Christmasy tune!

Such a magical night, under the stars, listening to 300 children singing completely off key, not in time with each other and all distracted by waving at their parents!

Wake, be awesome, sleep, repeat!

Today - Wednesday, I am grateful for our routine.

Today was the first day, after being away, where Zac and I, after we tucked the girls in bed got to spend some proper time together.

Back to our routine... Dinner with the kids, chats, board games and chilling watching a show together, and then kids go to bed. Then it's our time, and we both get our gym gear on and head into our home gym. I remember a time where I used to hate working out in front of him. I would get all embarrassed. Now, I hate going into the gym without him.

I love that after our work out when we are cooling down, I'll do my uni - he will play PS4 (I am really not a fan of the PS4, I could almost run over it sometimes). He does it so I am not distracted, because I actually hate the PS4. But, he knows that I will focus on my Uni, if he is on it because I hate the PS4 and won't talk to him when he is playing it. Win, win situation...I guess... Did I tell you I hate the PS4, just wasn't sure if you picked up on that vibe...

I love how we prioritise our time. You could be anywhere, doing anything, working hard day in and day out. It's all about how you prioritise your time. Zac and I have our routine down to a T. And, so do the girls - in saying that, our world does not end if a spanner is thrown into the works or if we have a brake. We all just go with the flow, find our feet and then end up back in a schedule that works for all of us.

Safe to say, everyone was happy to go back to normal.

It's so good to be home!

There is nothing in this world that I could be more grateful for today (being Tuesday) than the view of Brisbane from the air knowing that I am minutes away from being home.

I don't do long stints away from home, but towards the end of this year, I have and will be going away a little more than normal, for 2-3 days at a time. Now, as I have mentioned before, I truly love the job I have and the industry I am working in. However, I really do miss my family and home when I am away.

Today, I am bound for home... I am super excited like I always get excited. I always book a window seat on my way home... Actually, I book a window seat every single time... But by far an f'n must on my way home.

One of my many favourite things on the way home is the view from the top as we approach Brisbane... I will never get sick of that view... I see it and it's that instant sigh feeling like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders... I instantly relax... Well kind of, ok so I am relaxed and at the same time freaking quietly out about landing... I fly a lot, but that landing shit gets me every time!

And then a massive wave of excitement comes over me... the closer I get, the more excited I get. That feeling of knowing that in a matter of minutes I am going to see my big and little loves and have my face covered in their kisses and my arms wrapped around all of them.

Adios! The fasten seatbelt light has been turned on by my captain and we are now preparing for our decent... Time to pack up this bad boy, hold on for dear life as we land. And then, go score me some much-needed hugs and kisses!

Shhh... the fam bam is sleeping!

Oh what an amazing Sunday we have had.

So the dust, glitter and 1 million glowsticks have been cleaned up from Saturday nights amazing BBQ with the crew. Boy, it just an amazing chilled night, kids had a ball and painted our back patio into a rainbow, the adults had fun and stuffed themselves with good food, drinks and hilarious conversations. It was safe to say this morning all big loves and little loves were buggered... Cause we all slept in.

Today, as you could probably already tell, I am super grateful for a sleep in. So, so, soooo grateful for this sleep in. The best part about it: it was everyone... I didn't semi wake up to the pitter patter of little footprints running down the hall, across the kitchen/dining area, past the mini family room into the media room to watch reruns of UK's best x-Factor moments or epic fails.

Nope, not today...it was silent. It was amazing!

It was clean yesterday - sorry you missed it!

So, in between the constant cooking and cleaning - I thought I would bash out a quick gratitude post for today... Today, I am super grateful for a messy house... Or just mess in general. Yes, this is another one of those moments where I have completely lost the plot. But I have only lost the plot for today... Any other day, I definitely will not be grateful for the mess.

Why the mess you may ask? Because the mess I am grateful for today is a result of a lot of cooking in preparation for some of my favourite peeps to come over for a family BBQ dinner and drinks... This has been organised for months...

I am stressed that everything won't be done on time, that the food isn't good enough, that I still have food in my hair and the house looks like it has been hit by a tornado. I love having people over and entertaining... I am just not sure everyone else in the house does... I always stress out...

But I know, tonight will be great... Because of the people, our family will be spending time with...

Doing what I love!

Today, I am grateful for my job... Yep! I totally went there.

Most people, unfortunately, don't love or like their job, which to me is so unfortunate... Regardless if you work for yourself for someone else, you should be doing something you enjoy/love. I am one of those lucky suckers that actually love what they do... You know what they say, work in a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Don't get me wrong, shit in the office isn't always peaches... And to be honest, what in life is peaches all the time? Could you imagine it? How is that actually living, not having shit hit the fan every now and then... You would never learn or grow. Life would be so boring, tedious and the same shit over and over..... and over again.

The company I work for also offers the most amazing work-life balance and the industry I work in offers the best on the field - in the office balance. One day I could be working from home in my jim-jams - doing the school pick up and drop off.  Or, I could be in the office in back to back meetings about so many different real estate related issues. And then, the next I could be rocking the PPE, talking to farmers in rural Queensland, inspecting culverts and hanging out with a herd of cows and the occasional prize bull.

I have a very analytical thought process, so my job keeps me busy from negotiating deals in a closed market or mitigating risk and I love it... creepy... I am successful in my field, thanks to my determination, my analytical abilities, and perseverance...

I am so grateful I believed in myself, I stayed determined when it was easier to give up, and that everything that has happened in my life has gotten me to where I am now - in a job I truly do love.

Self-love - the greatest middle finger!

Now that the Melbourne Cup dust has settled and today marks the end of flowing champagne, gorgeous people and amazing food... It also marks the beginning of a long fucking day, racoon eyes and a hangover that could wipe out a small country.  It's about time I put down the carbs and the drink and focus on some much-needed self-love.

So, here is a truth bomb for you... I haven't entirely honest with my Dr or myself in respect to doing what I am supposed to be doing... I have no one but myself to blame... The one thing I love about myself is I will never blame anyone else for my mistakes. So, it was only a matter of time before warnings would turn into fact.

So today, I am grateful for stepping up, being accountable for my actions and making a contract with myself to get my absolute shit together... I spent the day overindulging on everything I could get my hands on as a last hoorah. At lunch I dated the devil, and savoured every mouthful of the devilish carbonara, knowing this will be the last time I'll walk on the wild side. It was amazing!

I stumbled across a quote today that stated 'self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time'  - fuck yeah it is! When you love and invest in yourself, you set the marker for your tolerance, you set the scene for what you allow in... You are in control. You're saying a big fuck you to the stereotype, the negative and the outsider opinion. So to get my control back, I drafted a contract... Yep, I literally drafted a contract, with a term, conditions and remedies for failed provisions...and I have fully executed it... Yep! A contract with myself...for myself... It's a bloody good contract I must say, I think QCU should skip the formalities and just give me my law degree...

So watch this space, as I attempt to keep the hangry monster at bay and be my usual confident...ish, and now smokin' hot biatch self!

The co-parenting King!

What better way to celebrate gratitude, then being grateful for my Dad -The Co-parenting King! He also has many other superhero traits, but this is one of my favourites.

Why is he the King you may ask? Well, let me answer that for you...  He is the king because had to co-parent with my mother... A real Filio, little old (now) lady, with her Luis Viton bag, a shoe collection almost as big as mine (over 100 shoes), dollars signs in her eyes with the sparkle of the world being against her... Don't get me wrong, I love that lady - she helps me out with the girls, she loves them dearly and for the obvious reason that she is my mother.

So, if he can survive that, I am convinced he can survive anything! The standard that he set - ok, this co-parenting shit by far is a two-way street, so he can't have all the credit... So let me rephrase that... The standard that he worked so hard with my mother to set for my brother and I is absolutely incredible. They attended our weddings together (my brothers was overseas), they sit at the same table at every single event, they work together with everything including my girls now... They even spend 4 hours in a car to drive from Fundaberg (Bundaberg) to Brisbane to come to visit my brother and I and obviously the kids... AND, they obviously both come out of it alive... Alive, I say...

I have the most amazing relationship with my Dad! Without a doubt in my mind, he is my hero. He is the first person I go to when I have a problem and need advice. Especially about my co-parenting situation... Before I go off the handles about anything, I am open and honest about the facts (legal brain habit) and I call the old boy... It usually starts off like this 'can you tell me if I am acting like a bitch/crazy ex-wife/crazy in general' He always has a laugh at the statement and tells me to tell him what's going on... Now, this guy is gggooooddd.... And I adore him, so it is next to impossible for me to lie to him, and if I want his honest opinion, I tell him everything, read out messages, tell him how I snapped and acted like a bitch you name it... He never ever gives me an analysis of the facts and a brief summary of how he comes to his answer... And his answer is never long either... It's one of the two: 'princess you're being a bitch, settle down' or 'princess it's not right, but keep goings'. I hate it when it's the latter of the two... Because I know he is telling me to quietly stand my ground and put the girls first...

And yes, he still calls me, princess, no matter who is around, slightly embarrassing when I am with the General Counsel of a business I used to work for...

He is by far my favourite drinking buddy and has been for a very long time... Even kept up with him and all the old boys back in the day at their old local watering hole... He's an excellent singer - when everyone is drunk and the best air guitarist I have ever seen when Hotel California's guitar solo starts rolling out through the speakers. He without a doubt, always tells the same to jokes when he is drunk... It's your warning sign that he probably will pass out soon. And he has the biggest, kindest soul I have ever seen...

I still love his cuddles and just sitting there, hanging out while he has a beer doing his crossword puzzles, talking shit about crap he did when he was younger.

My absolute favourite thing is despite how old we both get... He still is the one person I always look up to and he still is the person I will always call first.

Stop faffing and get on with it!

So... Truth be told, and evidently, I am behind... Really behind... Not that I haven't written anything, I have a few posts sitting there from last week just dying to be posted.. However it just didn't seem right, not one bit, didn't even read as if it was written by me. Believe me, I had a shit tonne of things to be grateful for. But last week, I was defeated...

You see, the last week I had so many balls up in the air. Just waiting for those suckers to fall down all at once and hit me in the face. These are all work related, and actually, don't directly affect me at all. The company I am working for went through a restructure and some of my dearest friends were impacted. I was angry and bitter for them. I thought 'how could you, where is the sense in that decision'. Yep, I let that bitter shit into my world, bitterness that was not mine to entirely feel. I let the crap I am genuinely trying to focus less on, back in my space - little snakey shit!

Now, I could bang on about how they felt, how I felt, how sad I felt about not getting to see some of my dearest friends at work every day, now, having to wait for our ritual family BBQ/Funday events... But I am not going to do that... Because today, I am grateful for admitting defeat, putting my big girl jocks on, brushing my hair and starting again.

What's life without the occasional fuck up... right!? When it comes to work, I always acknowledge when I have done something wrong, I'll find it before you do and I'll admit it. Why? Because I believe if you don't, it puts limits on you. If you so deeply believe you are at the top and can make no mistakes, you get complacent, you stop learning, you think you know it all, you limit your room to grow, you get cocky and then become a Real Estate Agent or a Car Salesman (sorry to anyone out there reading that statement that falls in that category. It seriously does take a unique personality/special someone to successfully sells those things and it's all in your attitude).

As my fellow Asian friend said (ok, so he is famous and definitely not my friend)

So, if I don't admit defeat when it's necessary - like the last week for example... Then I am limiting my ability to be self-aware, give myself my time, grow and learn from my fuck up.  So as I reflect on last week, I know the situation really did bother me...so much so, although I had so many things to be grateful for, I wasn't 100% in it. I am so glad I recognised and admitted my defeat. So for now, I think I will leave my big girl jocks at home, instead, put on my combat boots, go commando and getting the hell on with it!

I'm bad, she's Boujee!

I truly believe that you don’t have to know someone for a long time to become great mates or have a bond as if you have known each other for a lifetime. It’s all about the connection!

We all have people come in and out of our lives. Some are around for a lifetime and will always play an important part in your life, some are only there for a moment and played an important part in your life at that time. Then, there are the new breaths of fresh air that you're grateful you cross paths with and BANG instant connection. I have a few of these breaths of fresh air who have recently crossed my path. Each has their own story, and each person plays a different part in my life to which I am grateful for... So naturally, each will get their own post.

Today and every day, I am grateful for my favourite boujee biatch! She makes Wednesdays and Thursdays the best working days… Never have I met someone where I instantly felt comfortable with… Nor have I ever met someone who is continuously uplifting… I cannot recall a time where she didn’t pick me up when I was flat, personally or in respect to my career.    I can only hope I give back the same to her.

She is stylish AF, loud and everything fun! I have learnt so much from her - to the point I feel like I have been living under a rock for the last 20 years, or I am old AF... Let's just go with the living under the rock, shall we? 

Most days we are aligned with our absolute flith mouth trash talk, crying from laughing so hard… and then quietly wondering if we overstepped the boundary and did an overshare. Other days, we speak our mind and opinions and respect each other's views, move on, make a dirty joke and laugh for the rest of the day.

Naturally, given each person in this relationship position at work, you wouldn’t think we would be as close as what I think we are… Shit! Maybe this is a one sided, I love you BFF relationship... Creepy... But over time, it expanded itself from work to home and I am forever grateful. I love that I get to be me, in a professional and personal sense and it’s not often that you’ll get that, in this big bad world.

I also love that she takes me for who I am professional and personally. I can start off a sentence with... 'can I ask you something' and no matter how fucking stupid (believe me, sometimes it is really fucking stupid), I know I can ask her, she will be honest with me - even if I am being stupid, I know I will feel better and we will laugh, mostly at my stupidity!

Wouldn't have her any other way!

Unplugged - the Facebook detox!

Today I am grateful for making the decision to unplug, and deactivated my Facebook account to have a temporary Facebook detox. I did this over a month ago, and holy shit! It is amazing!

This is a big one for me. I have a lot of people in my little hub all over the world... Friends and family, jet-setting around... I have family in Italy, Canadian, America, the Philippines just to mention a few... Yep, us Filos are taking over the world... haha!

No seriously! They are everywhere and those that aren’t overseas are all over Australia... Literally in every state and territory! My favourite thing about Facebook and the only thing I like about Facebook is sharing our journies together no matter the distance. I love this! I love that my friends and family get the opportunity to see the girls grow. Or, that my friends and family share their life, experiences, travels and children with me...

However, what I hate about Facebook is the cesspool of drama that goes with it. Someone taking offence to something you post, someone sharing your stories with an ex or with their ex’s ex’s BFF or some stupid shit like that... And some of the posts, about horrible things that just appear on your feed, or share if you want to stop this, or that.

Now let me bring my slightly annoying analytical brain into the mix and bore you with some ‘did you know facts’.

Hold onto your jocks love, cause you’re in for a shocker...

Did you know that to date, there are approximately 24.6m Australians and, 15m of those 24.6m are active Facebook users... That’s approximately 61% of our population (ok, ok if you want to be really accurate it’s in fact 60.97560975609756). Holy shit right! Now, for a bit more holy shit, the global average of time spent on Facebook alone is approximately 20+ minutes a day... For a little more prospective Australian women spend 56 minutes per day on social media, with men sitting at approximately 41 minutes per DAY!

So when they say 'Offline is the new luxury', they certainly are not wrong! In saying all of that, I will, unfortunately, have to reopen my Facebook account again soon. I think I will be more conscious about the time spent on it... And, social media in general.

Happiness is.... Skype Chats

Originally today, I was going to talk about how I am grateful to be working in a job I love... Despite the ups and downs that come with my job...I actually do really love what I do. However, I do travel a lot and that kind of sucks. With a ridiculously early morning start looming, today I am keeping it short and sweet!

So right now, I am sitting in my hotel room in the lovely and stinking hot Mackay missing my family... I am only away for 1 night, but it doesn't change the fact that I miss my family. The girls always ask me to call them while I am away, they love hearing about my onsite adventures... They don't really like hearing about my long meeting adventures though.

So every time I go away, whether it's for a night or a week, I call them...every single day. So today, I am grateful for Skype! I love that even though I am not at home, I can call them on Skype on their own tablet and sit at the dining table with the girls while they are having dinner and chat... I love that they could be drawing a picture and I am still there not missing out... Sometimes not even saying a single word, but still enjoying watching them do what they would be doing if I was home, just sitting there soaking them up as if I was physically there... 'Stalker Alert'

I am pretty sure Skype is probably behind the times these days, with all the different platforms now available to ensure you can keep in contact with your family while you're away... But, boy oh boy, do I love still being able to see them...and for us, Skype makes the distance between us bearable!

We Came. We Saw. We Loved.

I don't think there is a person in the world that doesn't want to see the world. 

We love to travel... There was a time where travel was local... to a beach an hour away from my little hometown just to camp. Not that I have a problem with camping, I love camping. But, that was the extent of our affordability to travel... This is no longer my life. And today, I am so grateful for that. 

Over the last 2 years, my little family of 4 has been to the Philippines twice, we have visited Boracay Island, Puerto Princessa, Kawasan Falls (to mention a few), snorkelled, climbed mountains, explored little villages, canoed through underground rivers, relaxed and enjoyed. We explored the beauty of Singapore. We've been to Perth, relaxed on Rottnest Island and did what the girls love them most, exploring and visiting every Zoo everywhere we go. Zac and I trekked through Vietnam, ate, climbed mountains... again... visited Halong Bay, Da Nang, Marble Mountain and got lost in all the food and tailored clothing in Hoi An, just to mention a few.

I love that we are booked out next year with some amazing adventures for ourselves... Cairns and Townsville, Magnetic Island and everything in between on the Easter school holidays. Exploring waterfalls, snorkelling and of course climbing mountains... Are you seeing a trend here... The girls and Zac love mountain climbing... the girls have googled their names with Mt at the front because they want to climb a mountain named after them... There is Mt Mia, which is close to where we are (yep we are headed there the next free weekend we have). Mt Havanah, well that's in Sir Lanka and it's huge and I don't think we can climb it, but it can definitely be admired by one of those luxurious, glorious mountainside hotels... Yes, Banana wants to go... Pretty sure it's just for the luxurious hotel with her mountain views.

So, back to the travel... We have a wedding in Hawaii in July. And then, the adventure of a lifetime. France and Italy... We all cannot wait! I feel so blessed to have girls that love to travel and don't want fancy cars and big houses when they grow up... They want Brazil (to visit their old Au Pair), see the Greek Islands, go to Canada for Christmas (both are on the planning list as we speak... eeep!). They google islands, and countries to visit... Because life is all about the people in it and the memories you make with the people you love - so they tell me... So they have been listening to me all this time...

I would spend every last cent, to travel the world with my family and enjoy the experiences and memories we are creating together! Hang on a second... that's exactly what we are doing... except for the 'every last cent' part.... but that's a gratitude for another day!

Crazy little thing called Love!

To continue painting the picture of my story, today I am grateful for getting a second chance at this crazy little thing called love.

I remember when my ex and I broke up, I was so sure that I would remain single. Being single these days is a nightmare... You can't just go to the pub, get drunk, and have a convo. You gotta be on 20 different dating apps, be pretty good at photoshopping, talk online for ages and be willing to risk after all that texting before you meet, then when you finally meet you'll just be the next chick this guy is gonna "pork" until the next time he swipes right.  On top of that, I convinced myself - who on earth would want to date a single mum of two kids...

Well, there was one guy out there crazy and stupid enough to give it a good crack... It's one thing to be on a journey of self-discovery, especially when you are fighting your way through your bullshit emotions thinking you have failed...because you failed your marriage. It's another when you start believing in yourself, truly believing in yourself and then poof, this person is there in your life backing you, supporting you, encouraging you... believing in you.

So this crazy, stupid guy did exactly that. I was hesitant, I stalled, I pushed back, but I could never let him go... imagining him not around - just didn't feel right. I was such an asshole, I would only see him once a week and he wasn't allowed to come to my place any earlier than 7pm (on that one day), as the girl's bedtime was 7.30pm. It was just enough time for them to get to know him bit by bit. I wasn't about to be someone who had different men in and out of my life in front of my kids... It took months before I trusted him enough to even meet my girls... Let alone hang out with him all the time...

As all my pieces slowly started to come back together, he waited, he stayed... He didn't push back, he didn't hesitate and he didn't stall. He patiently rode the wave of my utter bullshit, because I was terrified of getting it wrong again... He made me feel beautiful, special, smart... to the point that I actually believed it, I believed deep within myself I was all those things... Holy Shit!! Is this what a real relationship is actually supposed to be like!

Don't get me wrong, he drives me absolutely batshit crazy! And not everything is roses, and that goes for everyone... No relationship is 100% perfect... and if you think yours is 100% perfect all... the... time...girlfriend you are in for a rude shock cause your battle is coming, or you are just totally in a space of denial.

I have seen him at his worst, he has seen me at mine... Believe me, sometimes I wonder how the fuck we are actually still together... But it was through those times where we oddly communicated more, we backed each other and were always there for each other. We don't fight often at all, but we debate all the time... And when we do fight, it's like in the movie 300 - when the vastly outnumbered Spartans attempt to hold off the invading Persian Army... But never, do we ever go to bed angry with each other or still fighting... Every battle ends in peace, is over and never to be had again!

Today, I am so grateful for such an amazing partner, amazing step Dad and literally my best friend!