Stop faffing and get on with it!

So... Truth be told, and evidently, I am behind... Really behind... Not that I haven't written anything, I have a few posts sitting there from last week just dying to be posted.. However it just didn't seem right, not one bit, didn't even read as if it was written by me. Believe me, I had a shit tonne of things to be grateful for. But last week, I was defeated...

You see, the last week I had so many balls up in the air. Just waiting for those suckers to fall down all at once and hit me in the face. These are all work related, and actually, don't directly affect me at all. The company I am working for went through a restructure and some of my dearest friends were impacted. I was angry and bitter for them. I thought 'how could you, where is the sense in that decision'. Yep, I let that bitter shit into my world, bitterness that was not mine to entirely feel. I let the crap I am genuinely trying to focus less on, back in my space - little snakey shit!

Now, I could bang on about how they felt, how I felt, how sad I felt about not getting to see some of my dearest friends at work every day, now, having to wait for our ritual family BBQ/Funday events... But I am not going to do that... Because today, I am grateful for admitting defeat, putting my big girl jocks on, brushing my hair and starting again.

What's life without the occasional fuck up... right!? When it comes to work, I always acknowledge when I have done something wrong, I'll find it before you do and I'll admit it. Why? Because I believe if you don't, it puts limits on you. If you so deeply believe you are at the top and can make no mistakes, you get complacent, you stop learning, you think you know it all, you limit your room to grow, you get cocky and then become a Real Estate Agent or a Car Salesman (sorry to anyone out there reading that statement that falls in that category. It seriously does take a unique personality/special someone to successfully sells those things and it's all in your attitude).

As my fellow Asian friend said (ok, so he is famous and definitely not my friend)

So, if I don't admit defeat when it's necessary - like the last week for example... Then I am limiting my ability to be self-aware, give myself my time, grow and learn from my fuck up.  So as I reflect on last week, I know the situation really did bother me...so much so, although I had so many things to be grateful for, I wasn't 100% in it. I am so glad I recognised and admitted my defeat. So for now, I think I will leave my big girl jocks at home, instead, put on my combat boots, go commando and getting the hell on with it!