Wake, be awesome, sleep, repeat!

Today - Wednesday, I am grateful for our routine.

Today was the first day, after being away, where Zac and I, after we tucked the girls in bed got to spend some proper time together.

Back to our routine... Dinner with the kids, chats, board games and chilling watching a show together, and then kids go to bed. Then it's our time, and we both get our gym gear on and head into our home gym. I remember a time where I used to hate working out in front of him. I would get all embarrassed. Now, I hate going into the gym without him.

I love that after our work out when we are cooling down, I'll do my uni - he will play PS4 (I am really not a fan of the PS4, I could almost run over it sometimes). He does it so I am not distracted, because I actually hate the PS4. But, he knows that I will focus on my Uni, if he is on it because I hate the PS4 and won't talk to him when he is playing it. Win, win situation...I guess... Did I tell you I hate the PS4, just wasn't sure if you picked up on that vibe...

I love how we prioritise our time. You could be anywhere, doing anything, working hard day in and day out. It's all about how you prioritise your time. Zac and I have our routine down to a T. And, so do the girls - in saying that, our world does not end if a spanner is thrown into the works or if we have a brake. We all just go with the flow, find our feet and then end up back in a schedule that works for all of us.

Safe to say, everyone was happy to go back to normal.

It's so good to be home!

There is nothing in this world that I could be more grateful for today (being Tuesday) than the view of Brisbane from the air knowing that I am minutes away from being home.

I don't do long stints away from home, but towards the end of this year, I have and will be going away a little more than normal, for 2-3 days at a time. Now, as I have mentioned before, I truly love the job I have and the industry I am working in. However, I really do miss my family and home when I am away.

Today, I am bound for home... I am super excited like I always get excited. I always book a window seat on my way home... Actually, I book a window seat every single time... But by far an f'n must on my way home.

One of my many favourite things on the way home is the view from the top as we approach Brisbane... I will never get sick of that view... I see it and it's that instant sigh feeling like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders... I instantly relax... Well kind of, ok so I am relaxed and at the same time freaking quietly out about landing... I fly a lot, but that landing shit gets me every time!

And then a massive wave of excitement comes over me... the closer I get, the more excited I get. That feeling of knowing that in a matter of minutes I am going to see my big and little loves and have my face covered in their kisses and my arms wrapped around all of them.

Adios! The fasten seatbelt light has been turned on by my captain and we are now preparing for our decent... Time to pack up this bad boy, hold on for dear life as we land. And then, go score me some much-needed hugs and kisses!

All the great speakers were bad at first!

Today, being Monday I am grateful for moving my own personal mountains, conquering my fears and owning public speaking. 

Since late Sunday afternoon, I have been in regional North Queensland for work, in preparation of my second and many to come training session around Land Access. Today, I felt comfortable...so comfortable I didn't even have to try and imagine the audience being naked... 

I didn't stumble on my words, the content just flowed out of my mouth just as gracefully as the f-boms, shits and mates flowed.  My audience was engaged and interacted throughout the training not just at the end of the training session...when I force them to talk to me to discuss their constraints...

I have always hated public speaking... It definitely wasn't one of my strong points in High School...ok, ok, I was reeeealy bad!  My hands would always shake uncontrollably, which sucks when you had to try and read from palm cards... I would stumble on my words, I'd forget what I was talking about and make up some complete utter bullshit on the spot... So, I always avoid it... I literally run for the hills avoid it. 

So when I pushed to be the face of the training, a part of me inside was screaming WTF Karen! What are you thinking! You hate public speaking! Shut Up! Put that hand down now biatch! But I know that nothing exciting happens when you stay inside your comfort zone.

So here I am out of my comfort zone, travelling around North Queensland, killing goals and annoying the shit out of a bunch of field staff about Land Access!

Shhh... the fam bam is sleeping!

Oh what an amazing Sunday we have had.

So the dust, glitter and 1 million glowsticks have been cleaned up from Saturday nights amazing BBQ with the crew. Boy, it just an amazing chilled night, kids had a ball and painted our back patio into a rainbow, the adults had fun and stuffed themselves with good food, drinks and hilarious conversations. It was safe to say this morning all big loves and little loves were buggered... Cause we all slept in.

Today, as you could probably already tell, I am super grateful for a sleep in. So, so, soooo grateful for this sleep in. The best part about it: it was everyone... I didn't semi wake up to the pitter patter of little footprints running down the hall, across the kitchen/dining area, past the mini family room into the media room to watch reruns of UK's best x-Factor moments or epic fails.

Nope, not today...it was silent. It was amazing!

It was clean yesterday - sorry you missed it!

So, in between the constant cooking and cleaning - I thought I would bash out a quick gratitude post for today... Today, I am super grateful for a messy house... Or just mess in general. Yes, this is another one of those moments where I have completely lost the plot. But I have only lost the plot for today... Any other day, I definitely will not be grateful for the mess.

Why the mess you may ask? Because the mess I am grateful for today is a result of a lot of cooking in preparation for some of my favourite peeps to come over for a family BBQ dinner and drinks... This has been organised for months...

I am stressed that everything won't be done on time, that the food isn't good enough, that I still have food in my hair and the house looks like it has been hit by a tornado. I love having people over and entertaining... I am just not sure everyone else in the house does... I always stress out...

But I know, tonight will be great... Because of the people, our family will be spending time with...

Our best critic, yet our strongest supporter!

Today I am grateful for my mother... You know, the little old Filio lady I was talking about in my Dad's post.

Despite her honestly stereotypical Filipino mother personality... She is pretty amazing. She is always making herself available to help out with my little babes in-between Au Pairs. She cooks amazing food...most I cannot eat - thanks food allergies! And, she loves us all unconditionally - she has a super soft spot for her future son-in-law Zac... Actually, they have a great relationship - it's so beautiful to see.

One of the things I love the most about her is when I call her. I don't call her for my voice of reason - as advised before that is my Dad's area of expertise... There is a very good reason for that... You see my mother hates everyone... almost... so if I am after a vent and one-sided opinion where she is clearly on team 'Karen' she is my go to... I rarely take her advice, but I always listen to what she has to say. It's actually interesting to see things from the other side of the table - the bitter angry side.

I love how she swears... I remember calling her complaining about my ex-husband... as we ex-wives do from time to time... and, I am 100% confident we have all done this at some point in our life... ex-wife or ex-husband, ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend...whatever your circumstance is or what part of the story you play...come on now, you know you have. Anyway, back to her swearing... I was so livid, which my Dad strongly believed I had every right to be... But, I just wanted to be angry for 5 minutes. I didn't want to be understanding, I didn't want to care about my morals. I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and drop a fair few F-bombs... So, I called her, I complained and she swore... Now imagine the next sentence being said in a little old Asain lady's voice: 'Daling... Don't worry bout the phucking idiot! He phucking silly... phucking idiot' Despite what she said not being the nicest thing anyone could say... I honestly couldn't be angry anymore. I wet myself with laughter...

Despite the trouble, and it was a lot of trouble,  I caused this lady growing up she still backs me (most of the time)...I never really showed her growing up - how much I actually appreciated her... Oh yes, I was one of those rebellious teenage girls. Never to my Dad, but always to my mum... I just couldn't be the Filippino she wanted me to be... Sorry, Ma! Poor lady... To this day, I call her once a week to apologise for all the horrible shit I did as a teenager - in hopes that karma doesn't bite me on the ass now that I have two girls.  I am pretty sure she is cool with all the shit now, only because I have two girls and karma probably will bite me fair on the ass.

I am forever grateful, for such an amazing mother - cultural barriers and all. Although, I didn't see it when I was younger and I may not always see it as an adult - she truly is a strong, independent woman. Her choices in life, her culture and her strong beliefs around the importance of family have moulded me into the young woman I am today.  With values and morals so heavily based around family, strength, drive and love.

Doing what I love!

Today, I am grateful for my job... Yep! I totally went there.

Most people, unfortunately, don't love or like their job, which to me is so unfortunate... Regardless if you work for yourself for someone else, you should be doing something you enjoy/love. I am one of those lucky suckers that actually love what they do... You know what they say, work in a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Don't get me wrong, shit in the office isn't always peaches... And to be honest, what in life is peaches all the time? Could you imagine it? How is that actually living, not having shit hit the fan every now and then... You would never learn or grow. Life would be so boring, tedious and the same shit over and over..... and over again.

The company I work for also offers the most amazing work-life balance and the industry I work in offers the best on the field - in the office balance. One day I could be working from home in my jim-jams - doing the school pick up and drop off.  Or, I could be in the office in back to back meetings about so many different real estate related issues. And then, the next I could be rocking the PPE, talking to farmers in rural Queensland, inspecting culverts and hanging out with a herd of cows and the occasional prize bull.

I have a very analytical thought process, so my job keeps me busy from negotiating deals in a closed market or mitigating risk and I love it... creepy... I am successful in my field, thanks to my determination, my analytical abilities, and perseverance...

I am so grateful I believed in myself, I stayed determined when it was easier to give up, and that everything that has happened in my life has gotten me to where I am now - in a job I truly do love.

Self-love - the greatest middle finger!

Now that the Melbourne Cup dust has settled and today marks the end of flowing champagne, gorgeous people and amazing food... It also marks the beginning of a long fucking day, racoon eyes and a hangover that could wipe out a small country.  It's about time I put down the carbs and the drink and focus on some much-needed self-love.

So, here is a truth bomb for you... I haven't entirely honest with my Dr or myself in respect to doing what I am supposed to be doing... I have no one but myself to blame... The one thing I love about myself is I will never blame anyone else for my mistakes. So, it was only a matter of time before warnings would turn into fact.

So today, I am grateful for stepping up, being accountable for my actions and making a contract with myself to get my absolute shit together... I spent the day overindulging on everything I could get my hands on as a last hoorah. At lunch I dated the devil, and savoured every mouthful of the devilish carbonara, knowing this will be the last time I'll walk on the wild side. It was amazing!

I stumbled across a quote today that stated 'self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time'  - fuck yeah it is! When you love and invest in yourself, you set the marker for your tolerance, you set the scene for what you allow in... You are in control. You're saying a big fuck you to the stereotype, the negative and the outsider opinion. So to get my control back, I drafted a contract... Yep, I literally drafted a contract, with a term, conditions and remedies for failed provisions...and I have fully executed it... Yep! A contract with myself...for myself... It's a bloody good contract I must say, I think QCU should skip the formalities and just give me my law degree...

So watch this space, as I attempt to keep the hangry monster at bay and be my usual confident...ish, and now smokin' hot biatch self!

The co-parenting King!

What better way to celebrate gratitude, then being grateful for my Dad -The Co-parenting King! He also has many other superhero traits, but this is one of my favourites.

Why is he the King you may ask? Well, let me answer that for you...  He is the king because had to co-parent with my mother... A real Filio, little old (now) lady, with her Luis Viton bag, a shoe collection almost as big as mine (over 100 shoes), dollars signs in her eyes with the sparkle of the world being against her... Don't get me wrong, I love that lady - she helps me out with the girls, she loves them dearly and for the obvious reason that she is my mother.

So, if he can survive that, I am convinced he can survive anything! The standard that he set - ok, this co-parenting shit by far is a two-way street, so he can't have all the credit... So let me rephrase that... The standard that he worked so hard with my mother to set for my brother and I is absolutely incredible. They attended our weddings together (my brothers was overseas), they sit at the same table at every single event, they work together with everything including my girls now... They even spend 4 hours in a car to drive from Fundaberg (Bundaberg) to Brisbane to come to visit my brother and I and obviously the kids... AND, they obviously both come out of it alive... Alive, I say...

I have the most amazing relationship with my Dad! Without a doubt in my mind, he is my hero. He is the first person I go to when I have a problem and need advice. Especially about my co-parenting situation... Before I go off the handles about anything, I am open and honest about the facts (legal brain habit) and I call the old boy... It usually starts off like this 'can you tell me if I am acting like a bitch/crazy ex-wife/crazy in general' He always has a laugh at the statement and tells me to tell him what's going on... Now, this guy is gggooooddd.... And I adore him, so it is next to impossible for me to lie to him, and if I want his honest opinion, I tell him everything, read out messages, tell him how I snapped and acted like a bitch you name it... He never ever gives me an analysis of the facts and a brief summary of how he comes to his answer... And his answer is never long either... It's one of the two: 'princess you're being a bitch, settle down' or 'princess it's not right, but keep goings'. I hate it when it's the latter of the two... Because I know he is telling me to quietly stand my ground and put the girls first...

And yes, he still calls me, princess, no matter who is around, slightly embarrassing when I am with the General Counsel of a business I used to work for...

He is by far my favourite drinking buddy and has been for a very long time... Even kept up with him and all the old boys back in the day at their old local watering hole... He's an excellent singer - when everyone is drunk and the best air guitarist I have ever seen when Hotel California's guitar solo starts rolling out through the speakers. He without a doubt, always tells the same to jokes when he is drunk... It's your warning sign that he probably will pass out soon. And he has the biggest, kindest soul I have ever seen...

I still love his cuddles and just sitting there, hanging out while he has a beer doing his crossword puzzles, talking shit about crap he did when he was younger.

My absolute favourite thing is despite how old we both get... He still is the one person I always look up to and he still is the person I will always call first.

Stop faffing and get on with it!

So... Truth be told, and evidently, I am behind... Really behind... Not that I haven't written anything, I have a few posts sitting there from last week just dying to be posted.. However it just didn't seem right, not one bit, didn't even read as if it was written by me. Believe me, I had a shit tonne of things to be grateful for. But last week, I was defeated...

You see, the last week I had so many balls up in the air. Just waiting for those suckers to fall down all at once and hit me in the face. These are all work related, and actually, don't directly affect me at all. The company I am working for went through a restructure and some of my dearest friends were impacted. I was angry and bitter for them. I thought 'how could you, where is the sense in that decision'. Yep, I let that bitter shit into my world, bitterness that was not mine to entirely feel. I let the crap I am genuinely trying to focus less on, back in my space - little snakey shit!

Now, I could bang on about how they felt, how I felt, how sad I felt about not getting to see some of my dearest friends at work every day, now, having to wait for our ritual family BBQ/Funday events... But I am not going to do that... Because today, I am grateful for admitting defeat, putting my big girl jocks on, brushing my hair and starting again.

What's life without the occasional fuck up... right!? When it comes to work, I always acknowledge when I have done something wrong, I'll find it before you do and I'll admit it. Why? Because I believe if you don't, it puts limits on you. If you so deeply believe you are at the top and can make no mistakes, you get complacent, you stop learning, you think you know it all, you limit your room to grow, you get cocky and then become a Real Estate Agent or a Car Salesman (sorry to anyone out there reading that statement that falls in that category. It seriously does take a unique personality/special someone to successfully sells those things and it's all in your attitude).

As my fellow Asian friend said (ok, so he is famous and definitely not my friend)

So, if I don't admit defeat when it's necessary - like the last week for example... Then I am limiting my ability to be self-aware, give myself my time, grow and learn from my fuck up.  So as I reflect on last week, I know the situation really did bother me...so much so, although I had so many things to be grateful for, I wasn't 100% in it. I am so glad I recognised and admitted my defeat. So for now, I think I will leave my big girl jocks at home, instead, put on my combat boots, go commando and getting the hell on with it!

Have you tried restart?

Day 13, really it's been 13 days in already?!

At this rate, the 365-day project will be over before I know it.

My recent technical issues required me to blow off the dust off my old laptop and get that bad boy a good run for its money...temporarily. This caused delays to my posts, so it is only natural that I am grateful for these issues to be resolved and I am working with modern technology again.

For the last few days, I have been operating on what feels like a 1900s typewriter. You honestly don't realise how much technology has advanced in a matter of 2 years. Well not until your fancy pants equipment has a mental breakdown and you have to revert back to your old laptop... Old...as in not even 2 years old.

It's also funny, how you don't realise how important something is until it is either gone, taken away or, in this case, not working properly.

Working on the dinosaur resulted in text not appearing for at least 5 minutes... 1900s typewriter clearly has one up on my old laptop...  And photoshop just refused to cooperate. I could only see my cursor 10% of the time and my laptop thought a lot... about everything... with every move it was going to make.

So right now, I am cuddling up with my amazing Samsung Book in absolute awe of seeing letters appear on the screen as I select them on the keyboard, and working with equipment that doesn't need so much time to think...

Such bliss that it is all sorted... just in time for uni to start next week.

It's never too early for Christmas!

Happy Sunday, so happy, because today was Christmas for us!

So, naturally, today I am grateful for celebrating an early Christmas with some pretty special family members. My to be mother-in-law and her partner are miners and will be working over Christmas. So, because of this, they brought Christmas to us...

We stuffed ourselves with good food, amazing drinks, laughter, happiness and quality time... An extra added bonus, the girls got some super special and super early Christmas presents.

I love spending time with family, especially my future mother-in-law. I absolutely adore her, and I absolutely love the fact that we get along so well. And the girls, absolutely adore her as well.

There is no better way to spend your day, than spending it with family... Ok, maybe a side of Christmas into the mix is slightly a better way to spend your day with Family.

Good health is true wealth!

Today, being Saturday I am grateful for good health.

It is rare these days, where I actually have a day of good health. I don't like to complain about my health issues, I don't like to make a big deal of it. I am almost always in pain, or generally not feeling well...

So, when I have a day that I feel on fire, have more energy than normal, feel no pain and slaying physical goals - I am over the moon... I love feeling like that, it doesn't always last long but fuck it feels so good.

I had one of those days today... And, I will never ever stop being grateful for those increasingly rare moments.